In This Corner

The press in NY is trying to drum up a rivalry between the new Mets closer Billy Wagner and the Yankees closer Mariano Rivera. They both use the song "Enter Sandman", by Metallica as their entry music. Wagner actually started using the song first and is a fan of the group; Rivera isn't a fan and had nothing to do with picking the song. Rivera is one of the most agreeable men in baseball and he has already stated that he doesn't care if Wagner uses the song. Given Rivera's exposure in the post season and the fact he plays in NY, the song has become synonymous with him. Some in the press has even given him the moniker of "The Sandman". Wagner on the other hand, played in Houston and Philadelphia and has not had quite the press exposure that Rivera has. He has also made it clear that he doesn't mind that Rivera uses the song as well.

Clearly there is only one way to solve this dilemma and that is for both of the men to fight it out and have the winner keep the song. They could hold the fight in the garden and call it "Nap Time, two Sandmen enter, but only one can leave!" They could have Metallica perform before the fight. It would be a concert and a fight. This all beginning to sound really good to me. No, wait, instead of a fight, they could just throw fastballs at each other. It would be great. It would be like dodgeball with baseballs. Perfect. Maybe Howard Cosell can come back from the grave to announce it. I can just hear him now, "Oh the humanity, this is the saddest thing I have ever witnessed in the ring. I, for one am sorry that I disturbed my eternal rest to witness this travesty of sport! This is Howard Cosell signing off, forever". Come on people, get with the program. Can't you see it?

The most amazing thing about this is that it was a story in all three NY papers today, including the Times. The NY Times saw fit to devote a column in the paper of record to this "story". I'm sure a good portion of the Mike and the Mad Dog radio show was spent discussing the merits of both sides. It's simply amazing what passes for sports journalism these days. I guess Randy Johnson's illegitimate child isn't that interesting anymore. Perhaps they can drum up a conflict between Mike Mussina and Tom Glavine over who uses the better dandruff shampoo. I'm sure that it would be an appropriate sequel to the "PHANTOM ATTACK OF THE RETURN OF THE THE NEW STAR EMPIRE ENTER SANDMAN WARS!"