High Steppin'

This weekend's recap:

Tennessee -4 Jacksonville

The Titans continue to amaze me with their ability to win games despite the fact that Vince Young seems to have forgotten that the forward pass is actually a component of the offense in the NFL. Jacksonville is still relying on their back up, since their starting QB is out for a while. The SM says take Jacksonville. I hate to rely on Vince, but I'm going to say roll the dice and pray that Vince has a good day. Titans 24-10.
Wow, I couldn't have been more wrong. This really is the last time I pick Vince Young for anything. From now on Vince Young, you are my enemy. I tried to play nice but clearly that's not what you wanted. You'll rue the day you crossed me! Me 0-1. SM 1-0.

Kansas City -3 Denver
KC got destroyed by the Packers last week at home. The Broncos got destroyed on the road by Detroit. Neither of these teams is very good and not having Larry Johnson for the game isn't going to help the Chiefs any. This really doesn't make much sense but I'm going to stick with the SM on this one. Denver 31-24.

I lucked into a win here. Both teams still suck. Me 1-1. SM 2-0.

Buffalo -3 Miami
Miami may not win another game this year. They are that bad. Buffalo beat the Bengals at home last week and actually showed that they do indeed have an offense. The SM says take Miami, but I can't make myself put any faith in that team. Buffalo 21-3.

This is the proverbial kissing of your sister. Buffalo's offense went back into hibernation, but they did manage to squeeze out a win with a stirring 11 point 4th quarter. Wow, I'm getting chills just writing about it. Me 1-1. SM 2-0.

Pittsburgh -9.5 Cleveland
Pittsburgh put a hurtin' on the Ravens last week, but I really don't see the Browns being as easy to push around. This looks like a SM special. Pittsburgh 34-28.

It took a late rally by Pittsburgh to pull this one out and I look like a genius for one pick. The final score was actually 31-28, but let's not split hairs on this one. Me 2-1. SM 3-0.

New Orleans -11.5 St. Louis
The Saints appear to be back on track. At this point they are playing like a well oiled machine. The Rams are bad. In fact calling them bad may be an insult to bad teams. They are coming off a bye week though, so at least they should be fairly healthy. That hasn't helped them so far and I don't anticipate a change this week. The SM says take the Rams, but I'm heading the other way. Saints 44-14.

Now I look like an idiot. The Saints scored 29 points but managed to give up 37 to a really bad St. Louis team. I'm not sure how that happened, but this will just show you boys and girls that gambling is no way to make a living. Unless you follow the SM that is. Me 2-2. SM 4-0.

Carolina -4 Atlanta
Two more bad teams. Atlanta pulled out a win last week at home, Carolina lost to the offensive juggernaut that is the Titans. The Panthers are 4 point favorites, I guess on the strength of being the home team. I'm sticking with the SM on this one. Atlanta 21-17. On a side note, why the hell is Vinny Testaverde still in the NFL. He's actually older than me. And trust me when I say that I shouldn't even be allowed to buy a ticket to an NFL game. I find it hard to believe that there isn't a QB available that was born after man first walked on the moon. Oh well, I digress.

Atlanta pulls this one out to continue the perfect week for the SM. I am struggling to stay above .500, but as I've said many times, no one has ever confused me with a rocket scientist. Me 3-2. SM 5-0.

Washington -3 Philadelphia
The Redskins at home only giving three points to a terrible Eagles team. Am I missing something here? I know this is a rivalry game, but the Eagles got doubled up at home by the Cowboys last week. This spread looks like a mistake to me. The SM says the Eagles, but I couldn't disagree more. Redskins 34-21.

Washington at home loses to a reeling Eagles team? This is why I hate both of these teams. You can't trust them. The Redskins, with their ridiculously racist name and the Eagles, with their Chunky soup eating QB, should both burn in hell. That may have been a little harsh, but I'm in a pretty harsh mood today. Me 3-3. SM 6-0.

Green Bay -6 Minnesota
Adrian Peterson put on a display for the ages last week in breaking the single game rushing record. Of course that was at home in a dome on AstroTurf. However he did run for 224 yards at Chicago. He followed up that outburst with two sub 100 yard games in back to back losses. I predicting the same pattern here. Expect GB to score early and the Vikings to be pressed to pass. The SM says take the Vikings. I'm going to disagree and say take the Pack 27-17.

This was even more one sided than I expected and with Petersen going down to injury early, the Vikings apparently just threw the playbook out the window. This is the first loss for the SM this week, but I hear the SM is doing well and will recover from this setback. Me 4-3. SM 6-1.

Baltimore -4 Cincinnati
Both of these teams let me down last week. I picked them both to cover the spread and neither of them did. So what to do this week? My only fallback here is that Steve McNair is my fantasy QB (ok, stop laughing). I guess I have to pick the Ravens to win but I'm thinking the SM works here. Ravens 17-14.
Okay, technically a win, but I can't feel good about it. The Bengals dominated the Ravens and Steve McNair joins Vince Young on my hit list. How the hell does a QB produce back to back negative point games? It' unheard of I tell you! I take this as a personal attack on me. Steve McNair, please go back to wherever you came from and take Vince Young and Chad Pennington (my other disappointment at fantasy QB) with you. Me 5-3. SM 7-1.

Chicago -3.5 Oakland
What the hell happened to Chicago? Their once proud defense has given up over 30 points on a couple of occasions this season. They have held their last two opponents to 16, so maybe they are having a mid season renaissance. Oakland at least seems to have found a running game, even if they can't seem to find a competent QB. I'll stick with the SM on this one. Chicago 13-10.

This was looking great for me. It was tied at 3 heading into the 4th quarter and then Chicago decides to score two touchdowns to make me look foolish. Well, Chicago isn't even the "second city" anymore. So who looks foolish now, huh? Me 5-4. SM 7-2.

Dallas -1 NY Giants
I can't in good conscience pick this game. My heart says the Cowboys, the SM says the Giants. In order for the Giants to cover the spread they have to win the game and I can't be a party to that. I'm going against the SM and picking the Cowboys, but unless they win, I won't be counting this one against my record (my picks, my rules).

The Cowboys came into New York and gave the Giants a beating. They are the best team in the east and maybe the best team in the NFC. It's been a long time since I could say that. Of course I probably just jinxed them for the rest of the season. But considering the fact that Bill Parcells isn't there anymore, they actually might be able to win a couple of games after thanksgiving. Me 6-4. SM 7-3.

Arizona -1 Detroit
I don't think much of the Cardinals. Detroit has been much tougher at home than on the road, but I still don't see them losing this game. Stick with the SM. Detroit 19-16.

Arizona beat Detroit convincingly. I'm not really sure what happened here. I guess the thing learned from this one is don't bet on Detroit on the road. (It's a good think I don't bet, but I am taking donations to my "save me from losing my stuff to the bookies" fund). Me 6-5. SM 7-4.

Indianapolis -3.5 San Diego
San Diego got crushed by the Vikings last week and gave up a record number of rushing yards. Indianapolis is coming off a crushing home loss to New England. One of these teams is going to have a big rebound. I'm thinking it's going to be the Colts. I'm ignoring the SM and I recommend you do the same. Colts 31-24.

Peyton Manning threw 6 interceptions in this game. If this isn't a clear example of organized crime in sports today, I don't know what is. Even with all that help from Peyton, the Chargers could only manage one offensive TD. Peyton was trying his best to give the game away, but the Chargers weren't helping at all. It's a good thing he also had a buddy on the return team to help allow the Chargers to score twice on kick returns. I never want to see another Peyton Manning commercial as long as live (which means I'll either have to stop watching TV or pluck out my eyes. I'm leaning toward the former). Me 6-6. SM 8-4.

A great bounce back week for the SM after posting it's first sub .500 record of the season. As for me, I'm changing my middle name to middling. That's it for this week.