Thursday, October 19, 2006

Tweddle Dee, Tweedle Dum

I have to apologize for not being able to post anything for the last couple of days. Unfortunately I do have a job (regardless of what you've heard), and occasionally it does require more of my time than I generally like to give it. Anyway, hopefully that won't happen again for a while. So, what's there to talk about today? The Yankees? I don't think that even I can plumb the depths of yankeeland for an article that would be relevant. There has been no new news so I'll leave them for another day. The Mets? They are facing a game seven tonight in the Queens. I think that about covers it. Football picks are now the property of Toby, so I don't have that to talk about. I could talk about Hockey, but seriously, does anyone know anything about the NHL? I could make a couple of things up, but I think I'll pass. The NBA hasn't started yet and just to show you how meaningless pre-season is, the Knicks are actually winning.

College Basketball will begin shortly, so I guess I can make my picks there. UNC is going to win the national championship and Duke is going to suck. Hopefully at least one of those becomes a reality. I guess I can make some other long range predictions as well.

The Yankees will win the world series next year, however George Steinbrenner will die under mysterious circumstances before October rolls around. Later it will be discovered that his son in law killed him in order to hasten his take over the yankees.

Joe Torre will be fired after the Yankees start the season 2-10. George will replace him with Wille Randolph, who will be fired by the Mets after complaining about too much salsa music in the clubhouse and the fact that his wallet keeps on getting stolen.

The Knicks will make the playoffs after trading for Kevin Garnett in midseason. However, they get eliminated in the first round after Stephon Marbury and Garnett get into a fight on the court during game 1. Marbury then refuses to pass the ball to Garnett and takes 80 shots during the game. Marbury will later claim that he's the only star in this town.

Arod will start the season with the Yankees, but will take a three month leave of absence to follow the Dali Lama around. He says that he is trying to get the Lama to grant him total consciousness, "Like Bill Murray in Caddyshack".

The Knicks will pick up Latrell Sprewell in order to try and corner the market on combo guards. Sprewell spends much of his time on the bench trying to feed his family in the stands.

Isiah Thomas will coach the entire season and will then fire himself. He will say in a press conference that the coach lacks the authority to properly discipline the players. He will then hire himself back after a 2 week stint in marine boot camp.

The Mets GM, Omar Minya, in order to combat the rumors that he only wants to hire hispanics, will bring back an old Met favorite as manager. Doc Gooden will be hired on work release to be the manager. He isn't allowed to travel with the team, but he uses his bench coach, Daryl Strawberry as the "road manager" during away games. The Mets will make the playoffs, but both Gooden and Strawberry will mysteriously disappear on the night before the playoffs begin.

Well, I think that's enough stupidity for today. Hopefully something interesting happens in the world of sports in the next 24 hours.

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