High Noon

Barry Bonds was indicted yesterday by a federal grand jury on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. This is the culmination of a four year investigation into the Balco doping scandal and Bonds' connection to the former San Francisco lab.

It seems a roundabout way to get to Bonds (like getting Al Capone for not filing his taxes), but he was granted immunity from prosecution for actually taking steroids when he orginally testified in the Balco case. In fact, if Bonds hadn't allegedly lied in his testimony, he would not be facing federal charges. There is also still the possibility that Bonds will be indicted on tax evasion charges stemming from unreported income from baseball memorabillia shows.

So where does this leave Mr. Bonds? He faces the remote possibility of decades in jail if he is found guilty of all the charges against him. There isn't a team that would sign him while he has the cloud of possible jail time hanging over him. For now his last home run on 2007 may in fact be his last home run for a while, maybe forever. This indictment comes a year too late for Bud Selig, who would have been happy to suspend Bond while this situation played itself out in the courts. He would have had his fingers crossed that Bonds was convicted and served time, so that Hank Aaron's record could have been preserved. The home run record does belong to Bonds now and no one can take that away.

He is a man currently in limbo however. He has more than enough money to assemble the best team of lawyers possible to combat these charges. I would think that it would be a long shot for Bonds to do any time based on this indictment. The only thing that could make jail time a reality for Bonds is if his personal trainer were to testify against him. Bond's trainer Greg Andserson has spent the better part of the last 18 months in prison because he refused to give testimony to the Grand Jury that was considering the Bonds case. He could singlehandedly prove the states case against Bonds by admitting that he not only provided illegal steroids to Bonds, but injected him with the substances as well. And that Bonds knew exactly what was being done. But being stuck in jail for months on end has done nothing to make him more talkative to date. I can't imagine that he would begin to talk any time soon, especially now since he has been released from prison. The Grand Jury session has ended, so he is no longer in violation of their order to provide testimony. If Bonds actually goes to court, however he will be once again ordered to testify. If he refuses at that point, he will probably be held in contempt of court and shipped off to jail once again.

It's amazing to me that Bonds has engendered such loyalty in an ex-employee. There are others who will be willing to testify to Bonds' drug use. His ex-girlfriend has already given numerous interviews where she detailed some of his drug use and she would also be a main witness against Bonds if he were ever brought up on tax evasion charges. Bonds' attorneys will argue that her testimony is tainted because of the acrimonious break up between the two, but it will be up to a jury to decide who to believe at that point.

I predict that Bonds will actually walk on these charges unless Greg Anderson does a 180. Money can't buy you innocence in the eyes of the public, but can buy you reasonable doubt in front of a jury. Even with a not guilty verdict however, I don't beleive that he will be playing baseball anytime in the near future and almost certainly not in a major league baseball uniform. If he is hell bent on continuing his baseball career, he may find an easier time of things in Japan, but if I were a betting man (and I've told you time and time again that I'm not) 762 is probably the number that Arod will have to beat to become the all time home run king.

Market Price

The Giants have agreed to pay Barry Bonds $16 million for the season in which he attempts to break Hank Aaron's record. This reminds me of the old days of the Yankees when they used to bid against themselves. Not since Tom Hicks out bid his nearest competitor for Arod by 100% have I seen this kind of lunacy. No one, and I mean no one was going to sign Barry Bonds. At least no one was going to sign him for that kind of money. If he wanted to take $5 million, I'm sure there are a couple of AL teams (KC, Tampa Bay), that could have used him as a DH. But $16 million?? The Giants basically created the market for Bonds and then bid against themselves. As the great philosopher Forest Gump once said, "Stupid is as stupid does". That pretty much sums it up.

What's That Smell?

It's just Barry Bonds sniffing around the winter meetings trying to get someone to give him a contract for next season. I'm assuming that his only hope is with the San Francisco Giants. I hear that he wants $18 million for next year with an option for 2008. I also want Scarlett Johansson to give me a back massage when I arrive home this evening. I believe the odds of either happening are astronomical. Although I think I stand a better chance with Scarlett.

If Barry Bonds doesn't get a contract offer, he will almost certainly look at filing a suit against major league baseball for unfair labor practices. He will charge that there was collusion among the teams to keep him out of the game. Which is kind of amusing considering all the drugs he took to give him an unfair advantage at the plate. The Commissioner's office is probably smart enough not to have said anything to the owners, but I'm pretty sure that it's Bud Selig's wet dream that Bonds doesn't get the chance to pass Hank Aaron's home run record.

It strange that someone who is this close to breaking the greatest record in North American sports is having such a hard time finding a job. I can't possibly imagine why that is. I'm sure Barry doesn't have a clue. By the way, is it just me, or has Barry's head gotten bigger while I've been typing this article? Seriously, look at it.

ESBN?!!?

When did ESPN become the all-Bonds-all-the-time network? They are supposed to be an unbiased sports network. Not since Fox News became the "conservatives are us" network have I seen such shameful self serving promotion passed of as news. ESPN now see fit to cut into it's programming to show every Bonds at bat. I'm not sure if they've noticed but the majority of the country isn't particularly enamored of Bonds at the moment. It's as if they blinders on to what everyone in the country is thinking.

Before the steroid allegations there were sponsors lined up to be a part of the home run chase. MasterCard had an advertising campaign that was going to build around Bonds, but that all went away once the allegations in "Game of Shadows" came to light. Interrupting their own programming to show Bonds' at bats is not their worst offense. They also have a show under their entertainment branch entitled "Bonds on Bonds". The show consists of ESPN cameras following Bonds around as he goes about the business of baseball and also shows him with his family. This was an attempt by Bonds to try and change his image. He even went so far as to dress up as Paula Abdul in spring training to show just how much fun he has with his teammates.

He cries in front of the camera, he hugs his kids, he talks about how misunderstood he is and that the people just don't know the real him. There are a lot of athletes whose public persona is different from the actual person, but Bonds is not one of those people. What you see is what you get. He's arrogant, boorish, and unapologetically. I wonder what his family thinks about the allegations made by his ex-mistress? I'm not sure what his excuse was for that, but knowing him he probably decided that he didn't need to give his family one. He's Barry Bonds after all.

I don't know why ESPN decided to play along with this charade, but it makes them look terrible. I'm sure that the announcers who are forced to play along cannot be very happy about this. ESPN does have some Bonds apologists, Joe Morgan being primary among those, but I'm sure the majority of them feel the way the rest of America feels. Bonds is a slimy character who really should be left to his own devices. The best that we could do to Bonds is to ignore him. As much as he claims he hates the spotlight, I know that if reporters stopped asking questions and the fans stopped reacting to him, it would drive him insane. Perhaps his unnaturally large head would just explode.

Why is ESPN paying this much attention to someone that we know cheated. He wouldn't be there without the steroids. I don't want to hear arguments about the fact that he was the best hitter in baseball before the steroids. He was, but he would not have been able to maintain that through his late thirties and early forties. Pujols should sue because he finished second in the MVP race twice to Bonds. He should by all rights be a three time MVP by this point.

I wonder what ESPN will do next year when Bonds is chasing Aaron? Perhaps they will just officially turn the network over to him.

Every Party has a Pooper

Barry Bonds is about to tie and pass Babe Ruth on the all time home run list. Major League baseball has decided that they will not have any special celebration when he passes the Babe's mark. This has been a point of some contention. The commissioner's office has said that the record is 755 and that they would have a celebration of some sort if that record is broken. They have said that they are not in habit of celebrating players reaching second place on any all time list. They cite examples from the past and they would be correct.

The thing is that if this were anyone other than Barry Bonds, baseball would have been throwing a season long party to celebrate this event. If there's one thing that baseball is good at doing, it's celebrating its past. Baseball is woven together through the tapestry of the past. Players have always been compared across decades, across the century and a half of baseball history, but steroids have destroyed that. Barry Bonds isn't the only culprit of course, but he's just the most visible. He's the poster boy for all that is wrong with the game. His traveling circus this season has lead to fans becoming fairly creative with their signs; "Move your head, Barry. I can't see", "Bonds hitting home run number 715, worthless", and the most simple "*".

It's a shame really. The now tainted McGwire - Sosa home run chase of '98 brought so much positive attention to the game. Most of America watched with awe as the balls flew out of the park that summer. The same thing would be happening now if not for the fact that Barry Bonds is viewed as such a despicable character. He brought this upon himself, so we can't feel too bad for him. It's just unfortunate that what should have been a great moment will now feel so hollow. The moment will be celebrated in San Francisco, but there will be no feeling of joy anywhere else in the country. It'll be just like Mudville after the mighty Casey struck out.

I'm not going to blame the Commissioner or the owners or the sports writers or TV and Radio announcers today or even the public, for this mess. I just wanted to say how disappointing this all is. I guess we can only hope that Arod stays healthy and interested long enough to eventually break the home run record, whatever it may be. As a baseball fan, these opportunities really don't come along very often. Babe owned the all time HR record by the mid twenties, Aaron broke the record in the mid seventies and here we are in the mid '00's and we are on the threshold of another record. It should be a great thing but it's not.

Only three men in the long and storied history of the game have reached the 700 home run plateau. We actually have the privilege of watching one of those men every day. It should be a joy, but unfortunately there is no joy in Mudville, because the Mighty Casey was shooting up.

Swing for the Fences

Barry Bonds and his crack legal team have decided to sue the authors of "Game of Shadows". They aren't suing for Libel however. They have decided to sue based on the fact that the grand jury testimony in the book was obtained illegally. They are going to ask for temporary restraining order against the release of the book and so what they are saying is that because the testimony is supposed to be sealed and therefore unavailable to the public, the book should not be released. Not since the Republican Party and Karl Rove have I seen this kind diversionary tactic. However unlike the Republicans, I don't think that Barry Bonds has the spin machine in place to make this work.

Who would have guessed that Barry Bonds would turn into the champion of the legal system? It's not like he didn't make a mockery of the entire grand jury system by lying under oath. The funny thing is that the suit doesn't claim that anything that's being reported in the book is untrue. Meeting the standard for Libel is extremely hard. You have to show that the authors knew that what they were writing was untrue and that they meant to cause harm. However, if you feel that someone has written lies about you, wouldn't you try and sue them for libel anyway? Even if it is just to try and show that public that you feel that you've been wronged.

Barry has decided to pass on the full frontal attack and try to get them on a technicality. Perfect. Just like a guilty man to try and manipulate the legal process for his benefit. It's like a mob boss saying that wiretaps used to gain incriminating evidence are illegal. It's a classic "fruit of the poisoned tree" defense. It's a smoke screen, and hopefully it won't work. Unless of course, he can get Bill O'Reilly and the entire fox news team on his side.

Barry, if you think what has been reported is false, then says so. If not, stop with the frivolous lawsuits. Resorting to actions reserved for drug dealers and mob bosses only serves to make you look guilty as sin. Remember, the company that you keep defines who you are. If you hang out with know steroid dealers, then people are going to assume that you have something to do with steroids. If you resort to tactics employed by criminals then, well, you can figure out the rest.

Buddy, Can You Spare a Dime?

Bud Selig has a dilemma. He doesn't know what to do about Barry Bonds. The simple answer is nothing. There really isn't anything to do about Barry Bonds. The problem with opening up an investigation is that it cannot simply be limited to Barry Bonds. That would be a witch-hunt and regardless of how popular such scrutiny would be, it would be blatantly unfair. If the commissioner is going to open an investigation into Barry Bonds' steroid use, then he would have to open up an investigation on Ken Caminitti, Rafael Palmiero, Albert Belle, Jose Canseco, Juan Gonzalez, Pudge "I stopped eating sugar" Rodriguez, Mark McGwire, Curt Schilling (that sanctimonious, self-righteous prick), Brett Boone, Sammy Sosa, Jason Giambi, Lenny Dykstra, Brady Anderson (Who somehow managed hit 50 home runs one year. Yeah, that was natural) Gary Sheffield, etc, the list is endless.

The commissioner has two choices here. He can either instigate an investigation that will track and illustrate the rampant use of steroids throughout baseball for the past 15 years or he can choose to ignore the problem and hope it goes away on its own. His problems are twofold. First of all steroids were not banned in baseball until last year. So even if an investigation were to show that Barry Bonds or whomever took steroids for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and as a late night snack every single day, there could be no sanctions against that person. Secondly it's clear that everyone in baseball, including the Commissioner's office, knew that there was a huge steroid problem and did nothing to stop it. They simply turned a blind eye to it in favor of balls flying out of the park and the fans flying in. The Commissioner is complicit in this scandal. He's almost as much to blame for this as the players who took the steroids.

Look, it's clearly not my usual position to defend Barry Bonds. However, if the reports of him doing the steroids out of jealousy are true, then it proves the point. If the steroid issue had been addressed when it first reared its ugly head then we wouldn't be talking about Bonds breaking the all time home run record. He would never have taken them. Perhaps McGwire would never have taken them. Perhaps Roger Maris would still be all-the time single season home run record holder and the integrity of the game and its records would be more secure.

The problem was that the Commissioner and the owners didn't trust the fans. They didn't think that they would come unless the home runs were flying out of the park. They didn't think that the fans would care about baseball unless they could come and see some Paul Bunyan type hit the ball 800 miles. The people who run the game clearly don't love it as much as the fans do. People always talk about how the home run race between McGwire and Sosa helped save baseball. That is absolute and utter bullshit. As a lifelong baseball fan, I was thrilled by that home run duel/chase, but it didn't change the way I felt about the game. There were probably a large number of casual fans that perhaps paid more attention to baseball during that period, but that single event didn't turn a whole nation into baseball loving fanatics. The game was fine before the home run chase and it would have been fine without it. Why couldn't the people in charge see that?

The Commissioner does have the broad reaching "best interest of baseball" clause that he could conceivably invoke, but I don't think, no wait I know that the players union would never stand for that. They would never stand for one of their own being punished for doing something that wasn't against the rules of the game. Breaking the law has never been reason enough to be banished from baseball (Ask Steve Howe, Daryl Strawberry, Tim Raines, Keith Hernandez, Doc Gooden, go ahead ask them). The Commissioner lost his ability to do anything about this situation when he abandoned the moral high ground in favor of record attendance. Any attempt at this point to express shock or surprise or outrage at any players steroid use is purely for show. He knew it, you knew it, I knew it and the American people knew it. As the headline in the Onion proclaimed, "Barry Bonds took steroids reports everyone who has ever watched baseball".

So suck it up Bud. When Barry Bonds passes Babe Ruth in April or early May, you'll have to grin and bear it just like the rest of us. Unlike the rest of us though, you could have done something about it. You simply chose not to.

Why the Long Face?

Barry Bonds is laughing. He's laughing at anyone who thinks that these latest allegations of steroids and HGH are going to make one bit of difference to him. He's laughing at baseball fans that think that the home run record shouldn't belong to someone who cheats. He's laughing at the commissioner of baseball who is powerless to stop him from breaking the home run record. He's laughing at Hank Aaron. He's laughing at the ghost of Babe Ruth. He's even laughing at his Godfather, Willie Mays, whose 660 HR's he passed a couple of seasons ago. He's laughing at all of us.

He's going to go on laughing at as and there's nothing that we can do about it. The Commissioner's office should have done something about this years ago. When a 35 year old who is already producing at a Hall of Fame level suddenly makes a quantum leap in ability, clearly there is something out of the ordinary going on. Bud Selig and the rest of the baseball establishment chose to look the other way. While Bonds turned himself into the Incredible Hulk, they just sat by and enjoyed the show. Every objective baseball fan could see that something was going on. Everyone in baseball knew that something was going on. They chose to ignore it. Bud Selig, with his "let's not rock the boat" attitude, should take the blame for this one. His job as commissioner is to protect the integrity of the game. He has failed to do that. Record attendance numbers apparently clouded his mind to what was going on with steroids in the game.

The most ironic thing about this whole situation is that Jose Canseco is going to go down as the hero in all of this. Canseco, who was one of the first proponents of steroids in baseball, is going to get the credit for blowing the whistle on the abuse of steroids. It's a little like the pot calling the kettle black, but it worked.

However, Barry is going to keep on laughing. He's going to laugh all the way to the bank (The Giants owe him $18 million for this year). If there is any justice in the world, his knee will give out before he can play another game. Of course we live in the real world and that probably won't happen, so Barry will get his money and probably the record as well. And that sound you hear in the middle of night will be laughter coming from somewhere in San Francisco.

Where Have You Gone, Barry Bonds...

Remember this guy?

You Mean There's No F*@king Easter Bunny Either?

BREAKING NEWS:
An about-to-be-released book claims that Barry Bonds started taking steroids in 1998 because he was jealous of the attention that Mark McGwire had gotten by breaking the home run record. The book also claims that he worked with the BALCO owner and his trainer to design a regimen that would avoid detection and increase his muscle mass.

Wow, Barry Bonds on steriods and Human Growth Hormone after he denied ever knowingly taking anything. God damn it! I can't believe in anything anymore!

Did This Big, Ugly Woman Swallow Barry Bonds?

Better Living Through Science or How to Build a Better Tomato

Barry Bonds. What can I say about Barry Bonds that hasn't been said already. He is clearly one of the greatest baseball players of all time. He's an incredible physical specimen, who can do practically anything on the field. He is the definition of a five tool player. Of course I'm talking about the Barry Bonds who played in the 90's. The guy who plays now bears little similarity to the player who was arguably the best hitter of the 90's (The argument I guess would be between Griffey, Bonds, and Gwynn).

Here are the average numbers for Barry Bonds for the 5 years previous to 2000 (ages 30-34):
AVG - .292 , HRs 37, Slg % - .600

Here are the average numbers for Barry Bonds for the 5 years starting in 2000 (ages 35-39):
AVG - .341 , HRs 52, Slg % - .782

(Barry Bonds now holds the single season records for walks, Home Runs, Slugging Percentage, On Base Percentage and OPS, all of which he set after turning 35. The only other player who put up a mark in the top 10 in any of those categories after turning 35 was Ted Williams and he is probably the greatest hitter who ever lived. He also only had one season (at age 38) that was record setting after turning 35. At this point, all 5 of Barry's seasons have led to a place in the top 5 in one or more of the previously mentioned categories.)

Just as a mark for comparison as to just how unbelievable those numbers are, his average slugging % over the past 5 years would rank as the 6th highest single season % in history. The only players with a higher single season % are Babe Ruth and Barry Bonds. He now owns 3 of the 5 greatest Slugging % numbers of all time. Prior to the 2001 season Bonds' best single season slugging % ranks 56th all time and he achieved that when he was 28.

The only real comparison for someone making that kind of leap after the age of 35 is Hank Aaron. His improvement in HR output is easily explainable by his move from Milwaukee to Fulton County Stadium in Atlanta which was nicknamed "The Launching Pad". In fact it's really a shame that he played in such a tough home run park for the majority of his career. He might have hit about 850 hrs if he played in a park that was more favorable for a right handed power hitter. He improved his average HR output by about 4 a year from the ages of 35-39 which is pretty remarkable and unprecedented at that time. Barry Bonds has somehow managed to increase his home run output by an average of 15 HR's a year over the same time period! While he did move into a new ballpark (He left Candlestick for Pac-Bell, or whatever it's called now), it is by no means considered a hitter friendly park. However he regularly deposits home runs in the bay and in fact has hit about 90% of the balls that have reached the water. Not only does he hit more home runs, but he hits them almost as far as Mark McGwire used to.

In my mind there are three viable theories to explain this sudden surge in ability, 1) Either he wasted his unlimited talent during his athletic peak (20-34) and is only now realizing his full potential or 2) He is the greatest athlete in the history of sports and the one person in history of spots who has been able to make a quantam leap in ability at the age of 35 or 3) He is the finest example of the amazing difference that performance enhancing drugs can produce.

Now everyone will have to make their own decision on this one. I'm simply stating the facts. I would hope that there would be a real explaination for this one beside the Flaxseed oil (which he later "found out" was actually a steroid called the Cream) that he claims his trainer gave him. In my mind, if weight lifting and Flaxseed oil could make such a differene in performance, wouldn't every athlete in the world be flocking to Bonds to find out exactly what his off season routine was? Does Bonds really think that his workout method alone has resulted in him absolutely destroying the effects of time? Is he trying to convince us of that or himself?

Barry Bonds is about to break the most hallowed record in all of sport and I think it deserves a little closer look before we all jump on the Barry bandwagon. I think we owe it to Baseball and we certainly owe it to Hank Aaron. All Mr. Aaron did was stare down a million death threats, constant racism and a color barrier to break what was thought to be an unbreakable record. And I'm sure that there was no Flaxseed oil to be found.